48. Our Lady of Mt. Carmel

(mass times & church info last updated 04/29/2016) 
Address: 448 E. 116th St.
Phone: 212.534.0681
Weekend Mass Times:

Sat: 5pm (English), 6:30pm (Spanish)
Sun: 8am (Spanish), 9:15am (English), 10:30am (Latin), 11:45am (Spanish), 1pm (English), 2pm (Polish)
Weekday Mass Times:
Mon-Fri: 7am, 9am (both English)
Sat: 9am (English)
Confession: upon request
Sacred Heart Devotion: First Fridays: 9am
Our Lady Devotion: First Saturdays: 9am (Mass, Novena, Benediction)
Links:

Feast of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel
Carmelite Spirituality and the Practice of Mental Prayer
Devotions to Our Lady of Mt. Carmel

What is with me lately? It's taking far too long to post my entries, and I seem to not have as much to say either (or is it not that much to complain about or to verbalize my fears and anxieties about?)

Why am I still journeying to these churches? Since dating my recent girlfriend I find myself torn these Sundays. Either continue my ramble around the city from holy house to house (alone) or attend with her, at her nearby church - a great one by the way, one I reviewed with zeal. I certainly enjoy attending with her but feel it's slightly more a social outing and less of a spiritual emotional experience - the kind I have when going to these strange new places alone. I have asked her to attend new churches with me, but she prefers her own parish week to week and doesn't quite grasp why I do what I do even though I've tried to explain it's one way I search for and discover God - through each new church, religious art, stained glass, and experience.

So today I traveled to the East Side's Our Lady of Mt. Carmel. It's a convent and a church. Not sure what I was expecting, but once I entered this church I was very happy for coming. Another beautiful church and this one seems like a secret somehow, tucked away far east on 116th.

But upon sitting down with the services beginning I began to space out (it was a Spanish service, something I typically enjoy but today just made me feel aloof.) There was quite a few people gathered in the congregation but participation in the service seemed low. Come Communion time most of the assembled did not go up, and me in my daze waited and waited and waited, expecting a point when everyone would stand up and go receive, and it never came, and I just sat (or kneeled - can't remember) and did nothing and missed out on Communion

I attended a service I could not understand, missed out on the part that brings me the most peace and joy, and did not even enjoy the "socialness" that my friends did attending their parish. All of this lead me to question why am I doing any of this? What is it proving? Is it helping me spiritually or not? Is it gaining me anything? Should it?

The financial crisis our country is now facing me plagues me as does the upcoming vote - both play constantly on my mind. We are an indebted nation full of indebted people who have bought more than we can afford with money we do not have. It is my fault as it is your fault and ultimately some kind of sin. Greed? Worse?

Things are bad.