Address: 1290 St. Nicholas Blvd. @ 175th St.
Weekend Mass Times:
Sat: 5:30pm, 7:30pm (Spanish)
Sun: 8am, 9am (Spanish), 10:30am (English), 10:30am (Spanish), 12pm (Spanish), 1pm (Spanish), 1:30pm
Weekday Mass Times:
M-F: 8am, 12pm (Spanish), 7:30pm (Spanish)
Confession: Sat: 4pm-5:30pm
Exposition: Fri: 4pm-7:15pm
About the Organ
SATURDAY DAILY MASS
Rushing out of the apartment today, I forgot my camera and what a shame because this is a really beautiful church (So I had to depend on my Blackberry camera again - shame shame shame!) I have been to this church before when I was staying in Washington Heights and for some reason I had never experienced what I did today: realizing the absolute gorgeousness of the stone of the building and the clarity of the stained glass. Perhaps this was because it was a little far to walk down the discombobulation of St. Nicholas Avenue - due to the other worldness of the place - it seems like such a different country here in this part of the Heights. In the past, I have also been down to the basement for a Spanish Mass one Sunday morning which was one of the most celebratory experiences I've ever had in my Catholic search of New York. The main church reminds me of the Cloisters. It is simple and grand stone, lovely, peaceful.
Yes, these days I am finding some peace. Most of the times.
All I do I do to seek the Almighty. Too often I error and merely seek out more worldly pursuits, those things that lead me to a selfish sense of some kind of euphoria: that high that drinking or drugs delivers; mere earthly pleasures like the gluttony of too much food and drink; escape into the awful and misinformed mirror that is television and pop culture. But going to these churches I feel I am honestly seeking out, in some kind of honest yet unrealized manner, the Almighty...
In a recent Anne Rice interview I was watching, she recounts how she visted the churches of Brazil without any clue as to why, until later she realized it was because of her own journey seeking Christ.
So I seek and seek and I seek. And always I continue seeking. And the reason for this is all too often a kind of loneliness that abides in me that I can never quite get away from.
It was brought up to me a few weeks ago, around the same time as the idea of receiving three wishes each time you enter a new church, that as we humans face our loneliness, perhaps God too has a kind of loneliness. Perhaps this is why we were created in the first place. If you think about how we are made in God's image (and this should be taken to mean as sentient thoughtful creatures as well as any of our physical manifestations, that every thought, feeling and emotion is somehow reflected in the Almighty as well, or more likely God's feelings reflected in us,) then it is not ridiculous to ponder that God too may feel lonely at times.
Recently I had my first impulse to flee from my, what has so far been a going-somewhat-very-well, relationship that I find myself in. Is it fear of loss or failure? Is it something biological and forever ingrained? Can it be helped?
Thankfully, the feeling passes and I remain because I wish to remain because I know there is something meaningful I have found here. Even when she and I slip into some kind of uncomfortable awkwardness - one where we don't seem to be on the same plane - that inevitable boy-girl relationshipness, I so far choose to stay and not run, even though something in me screams to flee flee flee. Why is it that at the beginning when we enter into relationships we project so much of what we want, as opposed to really seeing the beauty that is there to begin with? We all have these plans and desires and when we find something that is good we can't always take it at face value for the goodness that it offers, we always want it to give us more of something that exists in our imaginations, that we want but don't necessarily need, that we think could be better.
Why do we do this?
Why can't we just be grateful for what we do have?
Why do we suffer from this awful human condition?
And have all these feeling existed since the very beginning, somewhere within our Creator?
Rereading my post from that day back in September of '08, I realize I should certainly have fled that relationship as soon as I even had an inkling there were problems. Instead, I ignored that little voice that we should all strive to listen to as often as possible. The voice that is always there, guiding us for the better.