*BROOKLYN: St. Francis Xavier (Park Slope)

Address: 225 6th Ave. (Brooklyn - Park Slope)
Phone: 718.638.1880 
Email: franxrc@gmail.com 
Weekend Mass Times:
Sat: 5pm
Sun: 9:30am (Children's Liturgy), 12:15pm 
Weekday Mass Times:
Mon-Thurs: 9am
Fri: 9am (Communion Service)
Sat: 9am 
Confession: Sat: 4:30-4:45pm 
Constructed: 1886

Brooklyn Catholic Entry
Wikipedia: St. Francis Xavier
Catholic Encyclopedia: St. Francis Xavier

Well she drug me down, Tossed me 'round,
Slammed my name all over town,
My good gal ain't no good to me, She makes true love more like misery
Now I'm walkin' hunched, I get drunk a bunch,
So would you sucker up and take a punch
My good gal ain't no good to me, And I think I've acted reasonably
Ah, but I miss her, And all that I wish from her

- Old Crow Medicine Show

Its been awhile since my last post and I've been intending to visit the other boroughs all summer long, but now it's fall and I'm only just finally getting around to it.  Choosing just one church per borough is tough, because I don't know the neighborhoods as well as Manhattan, and so have begun choosing churches at random or based solely on having walked by buildings of interest.

Back at the tail end of last year I walked by Park Slope's St. Francis Xavier on my way to a party. Keen to places of worship, as soon as I noticed the stone exterior in the cold of a December snow storm, I looked up, immediately overwhelmed by this behemoth. Towering and intimidating it stood, and yet was intriguing and inviting all at once. And so I headed there this evening, intending to hit the 4:30pm confession (something I'm in overwhelming need of at the moment) and stumbled in (due to irritating weekend train traffic and my own procrastination) a half hour late to Mass, wondering what I would come up with to write, in the first of these final, supplemental posts of this blog.

It's a beautiful church, and though does not rival any of the masterpieces I discovered in Manhattan, is very pretty all the same, a classic late 19th century cruciform church. The congregation (not coming close to filling up the pews during this Saturday Vigil Mass,) was what one might expect to find on a Saturday in a church in Park Slope: older people and young couples and families, strollers, etc.

It's been a nice break since my last church post last Easter, in which I had time to organize these pages to allow visitors ease of search and had the chance to take better photos of some of the destinations visited early on. I suppose my life ain't too bad right now - my job continues to go well, I am much happier in that department than I was a year ago. My romantic life, though, is in the toilet. My girlfriend, now ex, the only person in the world I have shared the secrecy of this blog with (besides those friends of mine who I become paranoid from time to time may have discovered it through other means,) though I do not believe she has actually ever read it, nor intends to, fearing what I may have said about her or others in this online diary (diarrhea,) and I broke up over the summer. Truly the worst break-up I've ever been through (and still going through.) I did the breaking, at least officially, realizing our 9 months together had subjected me to daily rejection on scales both minimum and max. I really couldn't take the pain of that relationship any longer. It was so dark there. Painful. The trauma of which I am still getting over.

Someone asked me the other day if I was still in the process of licking my wounds, or starting to look again. I responded, neither, that I was somewhere in between. I would no sooner hurry into something so agonizing again than I would throw myself off a steep cliff or onto a bed of daggers.  But I am lonely. It sinks in deeper each day, days I don't know what to do with myself. But as I see girls out on the streets, or in subways, or restaurants and bars, my first reaction, after being initially attracted to them, is to wonder if down below their pretty looks or sweet eyes, down deep somewhere, lurks more pain. My trust in others and in my own judgment of them dwindles, evaporating with my feelings of mistrust toward those in my past and phantoms of my future, and I wonder and fear if some day a ways away it will have died out completely.

I use this blog to pour out my thoughts feelings and fears into the websphere (hopefully) anonymously, always somewhat over-exaggerating my mindset and woes. In life I am not so depressed or melancholy, though am prone to what a good friend recently described as artistic brooding. The trick, he said, is to be able to find God in this brooding, or more appropriately labeled, contemplation. So recently in my sadness, I look for a quiet place in which to seek the Almighty.

winter comes and snow, i can't marry you, you know
without you the winter grows, i can't marry you, you know
love me the way i love you, love me the way i love you
take a year in your hands, you can find another man
let your unloved parts get loved, i will be your man
love me the way i love you, love me the way i love you
places you should be afraid, into the river we will wade
love me the way i love you, love me the way i love you

-Bonnie "Prince" Billy

2. St. Francis Xavier Church

NOTE: In 2015 this church was part of a list of churches in danger of merging with other churches or closing altogether as part of the Archdiocese of New York's great closings & mergers of 2015. This doesn't seem to have happened and this church remains open for regular Masses and other events. If you have any news about this merger or lack thereof please feel free to write in the comments section at the bottom of this post.

(mass times & church info last updated 04/04/2016)
Address: 46 W. 16th St. (Between 5th and 6th)
Phone: 212.627.2100
Email: StFrancisXavier@sfxavier.org
Weekend Mass Times:
Sat: 5pm (English)
Sun: 9am (Family Mass), 11:30am, 5pm (all English)
Weekday Mass Times:
Mon-Fri: 7:45am, 12:05pm (English, in the Mary Chapel)
Sat: 12:05pm (English)
Confession: Sat: 1pm-2pm
Links:
Official Website
Architectural Images
New York Times article on the church
Catholic Encyclopedia article on St. Francis Xavier
Wikipedia article on St. Francis Xavier

This church (as in the building) has been around since 1882. It is big; the pews have this great polished old quality about them; the entire structure strikes me as solid - a kind of firm cornerstone or foundation of faith for this neighborhood. The acoustics are good, the music sounds great within it and it's just all around comfortable and classic all at the same time. There are many decorations around; statues of various saints look down upon you from so high above you cannot tell who they signify. Large fresco paintings of the stations of the cross line the perimeter of the church. It really was quite a nice experience. I attended the 5pm Sunday service this evening and there was a nice diverse mix of people in attendance. It seems to be a parish that has a lot of community outreach programs as well as programs including focus on the gay and lesbian community, as one may expect from a church in the center of Chelsea.

I slept in this morning - I had actually meant to attend a church other than Xavier but due to a late night yesterday I decided to accept a friend's offer and go to this later Sunday evening mass. It was a good idea too - not sure if it's because the weather is getting a little colder or because the past couple weeks and this weekend have been rough and it was nice to be in the company of friends inside the sanctuary, but there was such a warm feeling I had just being there.

I've felt exhuasted and lost during the past few weeks. This evening in church (as happens often after a long weekend followed with attending a Sunday night time church service before the week rolls into gear again) I felt the emotion of the singing and the desperateness in the air of our America these days and the desperateness in me. I am in such a same state as I have been in the last few years. I am still so full of questions, and doubt; fear, and good intent; laughter, and sin.

Early this past Friday morning I woke up and found myself in our bathtub. Are you surprised? I didn't know what I was doing there either. The last thing I remembered was splashing water on my face in the sink just a foot away - so I surmise I rinsed my face and then just climbed right in the tub, like John in Norwegian Wood. The other thing I remember from that night was a beautiful bartender whose name I was told and then straightaway let slip my mind. When I asked her again, she wouldn't tell me and was quite upset. That was the end of that. I stuck around in that bar to see if I could change her mind and I ended up becoming quite sloshed. Somehow I made it home and into the bath, fully clothed - yet a despicable site nonetheless I'm sure. What am I doing approaching my thirties and acting like a college kid? Or is it behavior more befitting an alcoholic?

Three of my favorite things include girls, drinking and going to Mass. Not necessarily in that order. This is the source of so much questionable behavior in my life. You see, over the past 5 or so years I have spent a lot of time wondering if I should head towards a vocation of priesthood. In my volunteer time in Africa - where I spent near two years alone - I realized that this could never be - I simply knew that I wanted to be married one day. I knew a life without a woman couldn't be for me. It was a kind of two year discernment where at the end I hadn't realized what I wanted to do but rather what I didn't want to do. But the thought still plagues me. My intense joy in attending Mass is one of the things that convinces me I should look into the priesthood. My intense desire to be with girls is what advises me otherwise. The drinking often leads to poor choices concerning girls and this behavior subsequently leads me to entertain the idea of the priesthood once again. And this troubles me so I go back to the drink, back to the girls, back to the church - a bizarre cycle for sure. But one I'm fairly certain will resolve itself before too long.

Reading into a little bit about St. Francis Xavier Church I read that Thomas Merton, while attending Benediction at this church, realized his vocation and that his path lay in the monastery. The other day I attended a Benediction at another church, yet all I could think about was the girl sitting behind me and if I should ask her out for coffee. The Merton tidbit got me to remembering a prayer that he had written that I read over and over again when I was in Africa and which always delivers to me such peace and calm -

"My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my peril's alone." - THOUGHTS IN SOLITUDE


*Apologies again for the poor quality photos.

(09/20/2010)
additional photos...
**Note: I came here today for the 7:45am weekday Mass and found the main church empty.  I began walking around quietly taking photos, enjoying the newly renovated space and beauty of this gorgeous place.  As I approached the back I could hear a voice.  I made my way toward the sound and discovered a small chapel behind the altar. The voice was that of a priest, and he was celebrating Mass with about ten folks gathered together.  I assume this is where the weekday Masses are probably always celebrated. It was a nice little space with 2 large windows overlooking the neighborhood and some trees.